Sometimes in this life we go through seasons of stress and refinement. We go and go until we find ourselves "out of gas" and overwhelmed. It can be easy to become discouraged as encourager's seem a rare breed indeed. And I have found myself in that spot lately. Often uptight and tense. Apprehensive about the future and just feeling like I'm spinning my wheels a lot of the time. I get caught up in the here and now, ensnared by things that are (or should be) behind me and find myself feeling scared and lonely even in a crowd.
Sometimes I underestimate the enemy or forget about him altogether. I forget he is present and he wants to destroy me. He wants to attack my heart, my eyes, my marriage, my ministry and my will to press on and follow Christ's leading. I tend to forget that God is also present and still mighty in power. That He loves me and is rooting for me but will allow me to make mistakes and to fall. I forget that He is a God of provision and immeasurable wisdom. He knows what I need and where I'm going and that is all I really need.
I don't know what is in store for me and I can seldom see just where my life is headed but one thing that I have been thinking about and has given me some freedom is that even though I haven't read the last few pages, God has. As the author of that book "Ben's Life" God is privy to that information. He knows the plans he has for me and he knows how it will all work out. He sees the big picture. And what I do know is that I can trust in Him as my loving father who has saved me and will continue to provide for me until he calls me home. I thank God that He is in control and trust him as he has authored this book that is my life. As each page turns I pray that I can only trust Him more and gain the maturity I need to follow Him where He leads. I don't know what the next pages say or are about and that is ok because as I do my best to live for Chrsit everyday the last line of the last page will read: Well done, good and faithful servant.